Returning to the surface

Remember the first time you jumped into the deep end of the swimming pool? All the sound instantly disappears, the water rushes in, and you are instantly wondering, "How far down did I go?"

If you are like me in any way, panic started clawing at the back of your throat, forcing you to wonder when the next breath of air would be coming. And again, if we share common reactions, your next move was to flail desperately, seeking a straight-line trajectory to return to the surface to get that all-too-familiar, and now deeply sought-after gulp of air.

But what if, having been thrown into the deep end several times before, you learned that we are capable of containing our breath, emotions, and fears in such times, and instead of scrambling for the surface, pausing even for a moment, un-clenching your jam-shut eyes, and...

Anyone who has snorkeled (that is a weird verb... snorkeled...hmm...) will smile, knowing that in order to enjoy the underwater world, you have to go through these experiences. And you will never know what is under the surface until you are past this sensation. So much of life is actually under the surface.

Not to belabor this metaphor indefinitely, let it simply be said that Jessica and I are sitting just beneath the surface, enjoying the deep end, and in no real hurry to return to the surface. It is an amazing season of life, and there is tremendous beauty and discovery going on right now.

Some things that we are working on, that might give you an idea of what the deep end looks like right now:

• Jessica is spending all day, every day, less than a block from where I work, devoting herself to Judah's growth and health.
• I am going back to the drawing board on my old songs and recomposing them to be more current, as well as starting some new material.
• We are going through a few books that are helping us think through the blind spots in our thinking, and are eager to share what we are finding.
• Weeknights and weekends are increasingly calm, giving us so much time to be be together.

We are so thankful for the deep end, and will always cherish this time in the future seasons that we are taken into.

Now odds are that I won't post on this blog again, but you never know. Things are different in the deep end.

Timing is everything...

Every once in a while, the balance of life is interrupted by plans that God has for his children. Our father is entirely loving, and in his love, he grows us and changes us. He renews our perspective by throwing a wrench in our works. He allows us to see which things we are attempting on our own strength, for which things we have truly trusted in his provision.

I am learning that one of the most important ways to be like Christ is to know that there are certain tasks and events that are not to be approached anachronistically.

Jesus would not go to Jerusalem until the time was right.

He directed people whom he had healed to not speak of his acts.

When he had fed the 5000, the people sought to force him to be king over them. He slipped away.

And as the Byrds reminded us, Jesus taught us that there is a season for everything. There is a time for every purpose under heaven. Even war...

I just watched an interesting movie: "Country Strong." While I would not recommend this film for young audiences, and probably not for a sit-down and relax, feel-good movie, it was an interesting take on the shiny and not so shiny sides of the country music industry in the U.S. The plot centers on four characters, all caught in a love rectangle / production-oriented tour. At the beginning of the movie, and woven throughout the rest of the film, was a song that two of the characters wrote together: "Timing is Everything."

Breathing is important. Breathe in. Breathe out. For sanity's sake, we don't think about our breathing. It is typically a subconscious activity, until it comes bubbling up to our conscious when we are too far under the covers, or are trying to swim across the whole pool underwater in one breath. We also become aware of it when we breath in something that we shouldn't ever inspire. Smoke, certain gases, dust, liquid. The sudden awareness leaves us coughing, gagging, gasping, hiccoughing... choking.

A professor from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School came to Moody Bible Institute and spoke in a chapel about the nature of the Holy Spirit. In the discussion, he focused on the breath/wind part of the etymology of the word. Part of his conclusion was that our lives in relation to God is tied up in breathing. Spiritually discipling ourselves to subconsciously breathe in (Study the word, be exhorted, be taught, be mentored, be discipled, fast/pray) and breathe out (Love others, worship/obey, pray/fast, teach, exhort, mentor).

Sometimes, I am finding, that in order to be a spiritual leader on the scale of what God would have, we must be willing to breathe in. I am in a season, where I have largely exhaled. I think that burn-out in some ways is saying: I have given and given, but I have not been replenished. Its like singing that last long note in so many ye olde Christmas songs:  Glo-oooo-ooooo-ooo-ooooo-ooooo-ria.. Oh night di - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. If you don't take a breath before the next line, what good are you doing.

One has no voice if one does not inhale.

Balance in life, in breathing, in following Jesus, in leading, in service, in worship, in everything is a subconscious activity, like an engine in a car, that from time to time needs to have the hood opened and checked. The oil needs to be changed. The tune-ups need to happen. And occasionally, the alternator needs to be replaced, and you have you check your car into the shop for a while.

In this season of declining as a spiritual leader, one thing that I must do is to humble myself, allow the rush to fly by, and re-establish a healthy pattern of breathing. Timing is everything.

Bible Idea

I am thinking about an idea where I create a label sheet that allows you to print a single sheet of labels, buy a gift bible, and then put the labels in the different passages where the gospel story is most concisely told, so that a person can take a bible, read the different passages by following the tabs, and get through the entire gospel story. As a bonus, they are given a copy of the Bible for further reading.

I am thinking about adding to this a leaflet that will give a few websites for further research and a place for churches to put a label with their contact info...

Open Air Evangelism - Week 2

BE ADVISED!!!!! - - I am starting this next blog entry with masked profane language to illustrate the shocking beginning of our night.


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"Shut the f*** up!," he yelled. "Aw shut the h***, up!"
Marcus continued to hold his composure. His expression did not waiver for a moment. Although the train was noisy, and some people were moaning and disgruntled by his preaching, he continued. "I know the train is noisy, but please hear me! The Bible tells us that without the salvation that is found in Christ, that we are doomed." (Paraphrased...)


"I said, 'SHUT UP'." Angrily, the man rose to his feet, apparently trying to intimidate and to make Marcus quiet down.


"Excuse me, man, " Marcus said, and continued to shout as the train came to a halt. "Please think about and look into these things."


The man was just about to say something, when a woman yelled from the back of the train, "Leave him alone, he can say whatever the f*** he wants." Then to Marcus, "You just go on saying whatever you want." Marcus thanked her politely, and stepped off the train. As he stepped off, a woman leaned over to him, "Hey, you did nothing wrong, and I am glad you said what you said." This didn't phase Marcus either. He instantly engaged this woman with a tract and asked her if she had time to talk. She was in a hurry, but left with the tract. As he was heading up the escalator another woman reassured him. Again, Marcus refused to simply be consoled but directly engaged her. He began to ask her questions, and she tried to respond by telling him that she was on her way to church with communion supplies in her bag. He still gave her a tract and encouraged her.


Only moments before, I had half-jokingly dared Marcus on the train to stand up and preach right there. I told him I would give him a million dollars (the million dollar tracts we had). He assured me that he had done it before, but that the Red Line was a little too noisy and that people wouldn't be able to hear. I nodded in agreement. But within moments, he had begun shouting to the people. The guy is a rock... and absolutely solid rock. I have so much to learn from him.


Relational Evangelism


The Women

There are so many stories that I could tell of what happened tonight. The front lines of ministry is where I want to remain.. ALWAYS. But what really stood out in my mind was our interactions with two encounters.


The first was with two young women sitting in the plaza area near "The Bean," which is a large metallic... bean-shaped sculpture in Millennium Park in the city. They seemed to just be waiting there, so we (Jessica and I) approached them with a tract and asked if we could talk. Instantly, the first young woman said that she knew what we were doing and that she was Christian. As I probed a little further, I found out that she was a Christian and her friend was Jewish. I wanted to somehow engage her (the Jewish woman) with the gospel, and I had the perfect opportunity. You see, hours earlier as I was showering, praying and mulling over Romans in my head, I was essentially practicing using Paul as a starting point for a presentation of the gospel. I wasn't sure how I would, but something that was just standing out in my mind was the fact that he was a Jew.


So, when I found out her friend was Jewish, I essentially walked through Paul's conversion experience: how he was a Pharisee of Pharisees, training under Gamiliel, and a persecutor of the Church before his conversion. I relayed it in a way to show that Paul saw Christianity as the fulfillment of Judaism, and that after that, he went away and learned for 13 years, and then met John and Peter in Jerusalem, told them he was going to preach the gospel, and went out doing just that... and the rest is history. The Christian girl seemed very receptive, but also eager to have us move on, so I thanked her, and encouraged her to talk to her friend, who didn't seem to want to look me in the eye the entire time we were talking.


Greg
The second experience has forever changed my perspective on relational evangelism. I have been a proponent of building relationships with people to be able to bridge the gap needed to show them Christ. However, the truth of the matter is that the thrust of the teachings of Christ and the New Testament treatment of the Gospel is not primarily about relationships. It is about truth. The Gospel is between the Lord and the person. He is either calling them to himself or He isn't. Our job is to tell the truth in love so that His Word can have its affect.

Greg is the perfect example. We found him snapping shots of "The Bean" and approached him with a tract. He was willing to engage us in conversation so I began by asking him where he thought he would go when he died. He said that that he was hoping to disappear into oblivion. (I only learned later in the evening that he had studied philosophy under a Buddhist). I asked him to humor me for a moment and to assume that his only options were heaven and hell. He was reluctant, but was willing to go along. So, I continued telling him about God's law and how we are all transgressors of it, and how we are all in need of a Savior. He was tracking with me just fine.


When I got to the part about God requiring payment and justice for the sins committed, he wasn't willing to accept the gift of Christ's payment on his behalf. It was just like when I spoke to Mike last week. I told him that Christ had done that already and that regardless of whether or not he wants it, it is there. It is on the table, and the payment is already paid in full. 


From this, he launched into a frustrated bit about the nature of good and evil and how exhausting it was to see humanity go through the highs of the good and the lows of the evil in this world. He longed for it to be over and did not want to think about another life... It was just too exhausting. It was at this moment that I was very thankful for the emphasis that one of my professors, Dr. Wechsler, had placed on the nature of the rest that God intended for man. I began to explain to Greg that the intention that God had for man all along was for him to enter into His rest. I showed him that throughout all the dispensations (and no I didn't use that word, but i figured Justin would get a kick out of it when he reads this.) of his grace, God bore with mankind's incessant turning away from Him, and kept preserving a remnant that would eventually be taken into His rest. In fact, Jesus himself said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."


He was hooked. He wanted to know more. He gave me his email address and asked me to send him more information about this rest concept. I was just about to say goodbye, when my wife began asking him questions about why he was in Chicago and what he was doing, etc. It ended in her offering for us to take him around to various landmarks around the city. He was ecstatic. We talked for hours, taking him up Michigan Ave, up to the Hancock Signature Lounge to see the city, and eventually enjoying nachos, cheesecake, and coffee at the Cheesecake Factory. He told us sooo many stories. It was quite an evening.


So I am beginning to think that perhaps we have it wrong. Perhaps the ideal is not to build relationships so that we can share the gospel, but to share the gospel, so that we can build relationships. I still need to flesh this out some more, but both weeks so far, there has been at least one person that I have run into that has given me his information and wanted to pursue a relationship further. Last week it was Luiz, who invited me out to see him in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, whenever I get the chance. Greg offered to connect us with other world travelers whenever we decide to go anywhere. He apparently has a lot of connections. We will try to get together the next time he is in Chicago.


So, if you are reading this, please pray for Luiz and Greg, and the host of other souls who heard the gospel this evening. Many seeds were planted.

Open Air Evangelism - Week 1 - Part 2

No Strength


The part of last week (week 1) that was particularly hard for me was the realization that I had not been bold. Oh sure, I went up to people and sheepishly handed them tracts with the gospel message on them, but I was barely able to engage anyone. I was tongue-tied. The most important information that anyone will ever encounter was in my mind, but I couldn't make it go to the front my face and come out my mouth. Why? Because I fear what people think. I am afraid that the person I am trying to approach will want nothing to do with me. I did see that quite a bit while I was out, but what I also knew was that it was not a good enough reason to let them just walk away.


When Marcus' voice left him last week, I stared longingly at the little green step-stool that he had left behind. I wanted to stand on that box and yell, "People of Chicago, I have such great news for you. Jesus is standing, waiting for you accept his free gift of salvation from your sins, and all you have to do is accept." I longed to plead with the onlookers and passers-by to hear the truth. But I couldn't make the effort to walk over stand up and lift my voice. Why? Fear. Shame. I was ashamed of a message that people didn't want to hear. I was willing to let that shame drive me from preaching the truth to the ears which might have been prepared by the Holy Spirit to hear, because most certainly I would hear or see people who rejected me.


I learned through the evening that the only way for me to engage my faith with its true conviction is to allow God to overcome the fear in my heart and to replace it with love and joy. I learned that through the needs facing us on the battlefront. I felt very much like a solider who had been in boot camp for years and suddenly was in the front line. But now, all the training I had, and all the truth that was locked up in my rusty brain, and all the time I had spent in the Bible, pouring over texts that spoke to the truth of the salvation in Christ Jesus, was not enough to inspire me to share. 


If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor 13.


What it came down to was that I had allowed myself to forget love. Was I not called to love the least of these? (Matt 25:40) Was I not called to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? (Deut 6:5, Matt 22:37-38 ) Was I not called to love others with the love that Christ had shown me, and by this to show that I was his disciple? (John 13:35, 1 John 4:7-8). Further, the fear that I was facing should be driven out by love (1 John 4:18).


So, this week, I tried loving people. Jessica and I had quite an evening tonight.

Open Air Evangelism - Week 1 - Part 1

On Wednesday of last week, my wife and I went with some students from the Moody Bible Institute to go preach the gospel in the open air. The idea is relatively simple to conceive: Go and tell people about Jesus. Preach the Gospel.

Our own experience has been quite different. It isn't simple to suddenly go do that for which you have been commissioned. If you think about it, there is little other better to do with your time than to interact with people about Jesus, but how often do we found ourselves doing exactly that? Oh sure, we have conversations that beat around on different theological concepts, but how often do we really engage each other or the world with the Word? Oh, how I wish such would be true of me, that when people think of my preference in speech and thought, it is always that I would prefer to speak on Christ.

What Happened ??

We met at the prayer chapel in one of the dorms on campus at 5PM. We had a short time to pray, sing a bit, and then head out. Marcus, our fearless leader (and I do indeed mean fearless), met us and spent a few moments encouraging us and giving us a bit of perspective. Then, we headed out. Our goal was to get to a spot less than a mile away and begin to hand out tracts and try to talk with people while Marcus preached. My heart was in my throat the entire walk out to the corner. It would be one thing if the corner was a small little shopping area or simple traffic intersection. No, it was the corner on Michigan Avenue right at the base of the Water Tower shopping center. Literally thousands of people in the area. I would guess nearly as many walked past us during the time we were there.

No sooner had we left Moody's campus, then Marcus had already engaged a young man simply walking down the busy road we were walking. He spoke with fervor, refusing to be dissuaded by the young man's defensive tactics. He was gentle and loving, but firm in his responses. At one point, I overheard the young man say that he "didn't believe that a loving God would send people to hell" and Marcus, without the slightest hesitation or trembling of voice clearly stated, "you or I may not want to believe something is true, or even choose not to believe it is true, but that doesn't make it any less true." In the short steps from Moody to the place where we would begin, he had witnessed to the simple truth of God's law, and the grace of Jesus Christ, and the way in which the young man might find redemption. If that was all I had seen, it would have been enough.

As Marcus concluded his conversation with the young man, his girlfriend, Bridget , came up to him to ask how it went, and Marcus, reaching over to give her arm a squeeze, assured her of the extent to which the conversation was able to travel. The two of them were on the same wavelength the entire time we were out. Even in their quiet conversations and encouraging interactions through the evening, it was apparent that their relationship has been molded by the grace of our Lord.

We continued on to the corner. Marcus unfolded the small little stool he had with him, stood upon the stool and begin to yell loudly, "My friends, I want to tell you about this huge bill I have in my hands." He was holding a giant 1,000,000 bill which was simply a ploy to get attention. He then was able to get the attention of a young man, LaShawn, and drew him in to use as a demonstration. He began to ask him if he thought he was a good person, and if he would be willing to take a simple test to understand. LaShawn agreed. Marcus then proceeded to ask him if he had ever lied, stolen, or lusted. These are 3 of the 10 commandments most accessible to people in almost any context. By taking him through these, and gently shouting to the people surrounding, that by his own admission, LaShawn was not a good person, he was able to transition into a strong presentation of the gospel.

Marcus showed that the purpose of the law, in the nation of Israel and by extension within the context of all of humanity, is to show us how we do not, cannot, and will not be ever able to measure up to the standard by which we are called to live. He explained that on judgment day, when LaShawn stands before the Lord God of Heaven and is called to give an account of his life, he will not be able to stand on his own merit. If the wages of sin is death, then how could we ever atone for our sins without dying? In other words, who is going to pay for the sins LaShawn had committed? Not LaShawn.. The price is too high. Here Marcus used another analogy. He asked La Shawn if he went into a courtroom and had to defend himself before a judge, how could he? His fine is astronomical because he is guilty of breaking the law, and is a law-breaker at heart. But what if someone walked into the room and paid for that debt, right in front of LaShawn, and now he was free to go? With that, Marcus began to lose his voice, and had to step down from the stool, but he continued to engage LaShawn, while we each trid to nab an onlooker and start asking some clarifying questions.

In front of me was Mike, a friend of LaShawns, and initially, a rough-looking kid. I had watched as he listened to Marcus, lighting up one cigarette after another, and laughing at any point that he could. As Marcus stepped down, I weakly asked, "So, what do you think?" I thought for sure, he would turn to me in disgust and kind of wave me off. No. He looked me in the eyes, then slightly looked away. "Dude, I've heard that stuff, but this is deep. It makes you think." My mind started reeling.. I wasn't ready for this. All my defenses were up, ready to take the blow of indifference, but none came. A soft heart?? I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't expecting this.

Me - "You heard LaShawn... Do you think you are good person?"

Mike - "No. No way. I mean, I am not a bad person.. but I don't know."

Me - (Stumbling horridly) "Well, what about the test he just took, could you pass? I mean, have you stolen, lied, or lusted after someone?"

Mike - "Yeah man, I've done all that."

Me - "So if you had to stand in front of God right now.. say you are walking across the street and BLAM, you get hit by a bus and are in front of God and he judges you for what you have done, do you think he would let you into heaven?" (Even as I was saying this, I was kicking myself for not thinking it through more thoroughly)

Mike - "Yes, I mean even if I didn't I should go to hell."

Me - "But what if someone came and paid for it for you?" (I was so thankful Marcus had gotten all the way through his analogy before loosing his voice.) "What if someone came and handed a check to the Judge and said, I love Mike, and I want to pay for this."

Mike - "No. I wouldn't let him. No way. If  I did it, its my time i gotta serve, you know? Nah, I wouldn't take it."

Me - (Grateful that Jesus died for Mike's sin before he was born) "You can't keep it from happening. He already died for your sins. Its already paid for. Are you still gonna reject that?"

Mike - "No.. man I gotta go." (He could see his mom waving to him)

Me - "Mike, this is what you have to do tonight. When you go home, sit down and pray... do you know how to pray?" (should have thought of that...)

Mike - "Yeah.. I can pray."

Me - "Ok, go home and thank God for sending his Son to pay for this. Tell him that you want to be able to stand before him and be able to get into heaven. Tell him that you want to live like you are supposed to live and that you don't want to keep breaking his law. And you know what Mike, he will do those things." (Again, could have been better executed.)

I shook his hand and he ran off. I was ABSOLUTELY elated. I had just walked someone through the gospel. I felt like I was back in Uruguay, with my translator, and praising God over the souls that had heard the good news. That was back in 2002. This is 2010? Has it really been 8 years since I talked to a total stranger about the good news?

An aside

This video is a great encouragement to those declining leaders who day-in-day-out enter the lives of the youth in their midst and push them towards Christ.

We don't need "anything" that the world says we need to get to these kids. As she says at the end.. maybe by sharing the truth and life with them, we are not doing so bad, eh?